SecondActWomen - Stephanie Cenedella

Barbara Brooks is the founder of SecondActWomen, a social entrepreneurship company that delivers high-level IRL, virtual and digital media programs for women 40 & 50+. An active board member for several women’s and children’s non-profits, she is a sought-after speaker, thought leader and champion of women over 40 issues that help design businesses, careers and lives they desire in middlescence. Guadalupe Hirt is the co-founder of SecondActWomen, a GenX Boomer advocate, speaker and thought leader working to rescript the ageist narrative waged against women over 40 in society and corporate America.

Founded in 2018 in Denver, Colorado SecondActWomen focuses on building up middlescent women in an era of gendered ageist bias in society and business, SecondActWomen is leading the charge for GenX Boomers to live middlescence in full color, designing the businesses, careers and lives they desire.

As a Personal Story Architect, I was thrilled to speak to Barb and Lupe about the way they have boldly built their story. Many gems bubbled up through our improvisational discussion. Get ready for an electric dialogue between these two powerful women who own and leverage their wonder-women-hood!

Highlighted topics:

their visions, values, and mission
historically what has driven their purposeful work
how their work has created beautiful turnabout
how they have created strong voices that are truly heard
community, diversity, and inclusion leadership
how vulnerability creates the strongest learning
the power of sisterhood partnership and enlightened advice

Key Words:

Ageism, age bias, corporate, belonging, gender stereotypes, passion, purpose, entrepreneurship

Ways to connect with Barbara and Guadalupe:

@secondactwomen on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and LinkedIn
secondactwomen.com
Hello@secondactwomen.com

Why Invest in Second Act Women?

Stephanie C

It’s really clear that you’ve landed in a powerful space while growing SecondActWomen. What is it that connects with you deeply, that fuels you to continue to invest and grow this business? Or movement, I’ll say.

Barb B

It’s really because we’re the target demo, we’re the niche we live in every day. This company was started because we were the women who are experiencing age bias by not being able to go back into, for me, into corporate America, CityNET, in 2018 at 51 years young; and now 54. It’s become my passion, my pursuit, but also a business. I’ve been blessed that they all intersect. This is something that is a major DNI (do not ignore) issue within corporate America and within the entrepreneurial world, life and society, within imposter syndrome and the confidence that some of us are lacking.

It’s become the thing that I will continue to work towards, as I become steadily a fan of our own community.

Lupe H

I’m very much along the same lines. Stephanie, I think for me personally, I approached this organization from two different stand sets. We were both going through ageism, in our own personal life, Barb was trying to get back into corporate I was trying to get into corporate. And we both arrived at the same destination literally at the same time. What was peculiar for me, because I had never been in corporate, I hadn’t experienced HSM up until this point when I was first trying to get into this space. What’s been interesting is that I really come at this project from a sense of curiosity. And Barb is very much in a passion mode, this is what she was literally put on this earth to do.

My curiosity continues to grow every time that we talk to women, and they acknowledge that what we’re sharing, the experiences that we’re affirming, the help that we are providing is moving them one step closer to truly stepping into the best version of themselves, and finding themselves both personally and professionally.

Those stories, those anecdotes, feedback that we continuously get, whether it’s in social or in person, that always sparked my curiosity even more so because, what else can we do to support this community? We ourselves are going through it as well. But the idea that we are onto a solution to mitigate, to at some point in time, eradicate ageism, and in tandem, help our community and help society figure out that we’ve been missing the mark, is powerful.

And so, I think to be at the onset of that, leading that and working and learning alongside our women, is what keeps me going every day, to step into this even more so.

I love the curiosity component. That, it continues to drive you and evolve you. When I’m speaking to people about what their next move is, I’m always saying second and beyond. We have a president who is 78 years old, we’re going to be cruising for a lot longer. The fact that you continue to be curious, I love that.

Many circles of women are in this 40-50 plus space.

What Drives You to Lead the Charge?

I am a corporate leftover, I was in corporate America for almost 20 years. My last position as director of marketing of a major shopping center in the Denver area, Park Meadows retail resort. In 2011, I left that position unexpectedly, and I became an entrepreneur thinking I would get back into corporate but then found my way, and loving entrepreneurship life. Then came 2018, I decided to sell the house, I’m single with just a four-pound dog. I had an aha moment that maybe it was time to downsize and just do me, but also try to find that job that I could just coast and have a solid living until I’m 70. When I couldn’t get back in all the while from 2011 to 2018, I actually carried an idea that I had wanted to do for at least five of those years. And that was to become an event planner, by nature and in the mall industry, I was a connector and a lover of people, I know that cliche, but ask anybody who knows me. It’s true.

It’s 100% true. And everybody’s talking about it.

I wanted to create this event for women. Initially a Women’s Business Week. I bought up all the URLs in 2018. I decided to take the idea that had been sitting on the shelf for five years and move on it but I got in my head. Even though I bought up all the URLs, and I started as a marketer, and a public relations specialist by trade, I started doing my homework and listening to people. We started hosting meetings, started hearing the same thing about women and many offered events. But what we didn’t hear, was that there was something for us, that we could go to an event where we’re amongst our own, talk about everything in a safe space, including mental health, learn how to start a company after coming out of corporate. Frankly, because I had dived into both aspects, and I believe that God put this on me to do, knowing that this is what I love to do, then it became my purpose. I had to lead the charge, be in concert with some of the other organizations out there. We were one of the first in 2018 to focus on women over 40 and 50. Authentically.

Overtly, about our age habits so that women are owning that number, that chapter in life. This became my second half, my middle essence that I’m living, what I was called to do.

I couldn’t think of a more powerful woman to be leading this charge. For me, Stephanie, it really came down to two things. Prior to starting up Second Act Women with Barb I was working on a project that really spoke to me and I was creating impact. I had never really stepped into a position prior to that, that had really fulfilled me, not just from a business perspective, but from a personal. It had filled me up to such a point that I was like, wow, this is what it feels like to work in an organization that you love, that’s creating positivity doing all the right things that a career should do.

After five years that opportunity came to an end. I’d been an entrepreneur for 25 years and wanted to go into something steady, not have to worry about wearing multiple hats. So corporate sounded really appeasing. But in the same vein, Barb and I joked that it was a blessing that we didn’t get hired. You think about serendipity and just how things align, right? For me, what’s really been an opportunity is that I joined because I was curious, but also because I wanted to work and still create impact. I wanted to step into an opportunity that still filled my heart, and allowed me to do good. And Barb’s passion, emanated. So, it was hard to say no to her. I also saw the potential of the organization and what we could do to impact lives positively. And in turn, self-grow alongside these women as well. It was twofold. It was this idea that I could have my cake and eat it too, with an organization that was doing awesome things.

Lupe volunteered her time to the launching of the company, along with 12 other volunteers, corporate women and business owners who helped launch this. She then came on as co-founder in February 2019. In essence to really get it, my first mentor along with a friend of mine, Rob Brown, pushed me into doing this. Lupe was the first person I approached about this idea. Our prior work life situation complemented each other’s wheel houses and flowed together. She told me no at first, but also said I can give you 20% of my time. Because she was my first person who didn’t understand yet the power of this and what we were about to jump into. Once she did, she has been nothing but a power horse behind it. The two of us alone could not have pulled off this company. Six months later after her partial offer she called me back and said, you know what, I want to do this. And I was like, thank God!

Work Creates Turnabout

You have electricity but also a magnetism that draws people in. What I’m hearing is, you both see the turnabout. Yes, it takes work but by investing in this, there is a beautiful turnabout.

Absolutely. Because we are building, we’re at the point in our lives, where we want to be comfortable. We recognize we are building a sustainable company, one that supports our living lifestyle, but we’re designing our own futures. It’s really important for us to impress upon people that while we are lucky enough to have found the thing that we have been called to do it’s also a business. We want women to recognize it’s okay to talk about money when they find their thing.

Not all of us are going to find our passion project. I don’t want to put the pressure on because as women, we already have enough pressure on us to find our passion and our second half. What if I don’t have one? What if I just want to live a happy life? Do the fun things I love to do? How about that?

Support Community

What I’m hearing is that you’ve crafted this space, this community to support people who want to possibly drive and serve purpose or people who just want to feel held, supported and be in this warm community.

It’s this balance and I am a gal who digs into this, a balance of warmth and competence. This whole space supports that.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. And you know, and we can’t take all the credit, women that show up in this community are really truly the magic behind it all. You can have a great idea. But if nobody jumps on your bandwagon, then it sits and it doesn’t grow to the capacity or potential that it deserves. That’s the difference with this community.

It was interesting, Stephanie, everyone at the beginning focused overtly on age. We were saying our age, saying this is just for women, Gen X women and boomers. We had our first, almost failure. Our first event that we had invested tons of time, and energy into and the volunteers, people weren’t signing up for our very first event. As storytellers ourselves, we had a story to continue to tell but we had to learn how to tell it so they understood it was safe. It was for them.

Yeah, super important.

Speaking to Diversity

SC

Relating to a safe space, I’m going to ask both of you to speak to diversity, how that role plays into what each of you are doing. Did that drive–fuel you to build this? Continue building it? How does that weave in?

The project that I had worked on prior to this was all about the intersection of culture and identity and sense of belonging. That was a turning point in my own life. I reconciled a lot of issues that I had had myself, a lot of biases that I had internalized, gender stereotypes and cultural expectations that I had put on myself. Through the years where I had allowed other people to put on me. That project, for me, was almost like a clearing of sorts.

It helped me find my Latina power in such a way that it helps me own it with much more pride and a sense of understanding, which I was missing before. I’ve always been proud of it, it was a deeper set of understanding that allowed me to even go further with that sense of pride.

When I entered into this space, I think the simple fact of knowing that our work can have positive effects on minority women like myself, that we are in a position where we are leading an organization that is led by a black woman and a Latina, that is not commonplace, in many of the organizations right now. The fact that people can look up to us, and we can serve as positive role models that are accepting not just gender, but their age, ethnicity, and their race can be powerful.

If I am blessed to have that opportunity to be that type of leader, then I’m all game. We need more women that look like Barb and I out there, to be creating a more inclusive community across the board, both in society and in corporate America. Even within our own selves, the way that we look at ourselves and what we can contribute, versus focusing always on the limitations.

We always say that we’re triple minorities, although I’m a quadruple minority, we are ethnic, we are women and our age, and for me, I’m five foot 11. So, we have three things that ultimately can go against us and the one thing that anyone will tell you about Lupe and I is, we’re not going to let all the things that are happening within our world today get the best of us. Instead, we’re making sure that we’re all represented. We’re not the ageist, we’re not the sexist, we’re not the brand-ist. We are simply here to help women, Gen Xers and boomers, but we’re also making sure that blacks, Asian, and any minority group: women x, are represented when we’re doing peer to peer interaction. When we’re leading, doing workshops, sessions, conferences and retreats, someone is going to find someone they can relate to beyond their age group. When we talk about global speaking events, 7% are African American. That is ridiculous! Now pare that down to women over 40 and 50 and we’ve got a problem.

That’s the beautiful part about it, I think our diversity has created a new lens for us to be cognizant about decisions like that. And we are in a position to be able to positively affect, represent and make sure that we’re equally distributing on-stage time for our presenters. Something that, I feel a lot of people have good intentions behind, but they don’t. We’ve been on that other side where we weren’t represented. We didn’t see ourselves in the room, so we know what it feels like. We want to make sure that when we are thinking, representation, a safe space, I’ve got to see other people like me, and if I don’t, then we’ve got to be the ones to fix that. Because we can only be the change agents that we want to be. And we’ve got to actively step into that.

What I’m hearing and seeing, with great energy, is that your mission is about owning who you are. Because when you do, you stand and sit much taller. To see the two of you in this partnership, the visual-ness that you deliver upon, the electricity, owning who you are, and the openness you live by, it equates to: hey, if there’s something that you’re not getting, if there’s a question coming at us, let’s address it.

Your purpose is very much about vulnerable moments and owning them. As we do, we all stand taller. That’s a huge piece that you offer up, share and fully promote.

And we’ve had our vulnerable times. Listen, we’ve had ugly cries together.

I’ve seen you put it out there.

We’re almost too real. (Laugh tracks.)

But if I know that you can put it out there that far, then I know I can at least go halfway. You see what I’m saying? That is another incredible gift that you’re offering.

The thought of owning it, reminds me of a John Legend song, where he talks about being perfectly imperfect. If more of us recognize that we are that, that we don’t have to strive for perfection, that even in our lowest of lows there’s still lessons to be learned. There are still opportunities for growth, for us to come out on the other side, to not get so stuck in what we don’t have versus what we have.

I think it’s a mindset that we want to give our women. To say, hey, you know what ladies, you’re pretty frick’in awesome as you are right now. But if you want to level up on this, we’re here for you. If you want to connect with other women who are on the same journey, we’re here for you. Come to us with what you need and we’ll fill your cup, but know that where you’re starting at right now, is pretty damn awesome.

Strongest Learning Moments

Okay, that’s preaching! I’m going to ask you again to dig deep in the depths of your history, or maybe in a more current space. What has been the strongest learning moment in your wise womanhood space, do you lean into any past dark chapters and does anything spring up as a strong learning moment?

I live with mental health, with depression. My learning moment has been not to hold it inside and not to express how I’m feeling, and learn to lean on people I know I can trust, like, obviously my mother. Hello? People like Lupe and my very close-knit group, but I also make sure that people like me, that tend to come up as happy go lucky, and that’s traditionally in my DNA. You never know what’s happening behind closed doors, and so, it’s great for me to be able to uncover who I am.

I have done a lot of growing, personally but also professionally. I’ve learned it’s okay to share with other people where I am in life instead of holding it in, that makes me disappear for two weeks. . .nobody would ever know. When posting on social, I won’t say oh, I’m in a depressive state, instead I just pull back on certain things. I used to feel that it was too vulnerable of a state, not something that black families, communities pride themselves in, that you’re depressed or you’re feeling this way or this is going on. Instead, you hold it in and you move on, and that’s not good. My learning moment amongst a million has been becoming more vulnerable. And it’s okay to do so.

It’s a combination of things that have moved me forward in this challenge that I am still working through. I was always comfortable playing small, being the person behind the scenes versus the person on the scene. I hated taking pictures. I didn’t like to deliver presentations, I was terrified of public speaking, of being perceived as someone in authority because I really deal with imposter syndrome. And this idea of being questioned for my lack of knowledge in the eyes of others, right?

I was comfortable always behind being behind the scenes, and through much support from my work wife and my friends also to my own reset, of my potential and understanding that I don’t have to be perfect, that I don’t have to be everything to everybody. That if I stand in my own truth, it doesn’t matter whose checkbox I check. As long as I’m checking my own, that I have really been able to turn a corner on that. Now, I’m still working progress on that. But nonetheless, I have shed some of that weight that I carried for years, especially in my professional life. I’m allowing myself to step into spaces, conversations, to create connections that would have never happened had I continued to play small.

Massive growth!

Sisterhood Partners

BB

I was like, hey baby bird, pushing her out. We both pushed each other in very different ways. Which has really led to a beautiful work-wife slash sister wife, which is kind of gross to say but Lupe has become truly a best friend of mine. She knows just about everything about me and I her and so we’ve been blessed. We say do it, to anybody if they have the ability to be in a partnership that complements each other.

There’s going to be days when you don’t agree. We’ve had plenty, just a couple of weeks ago we had a disagreement but we always talk about it.

Best Advice

What is the best advice you give to individuals to craft their story?

Honor, every little bit of you, the good, the bad. The areas of improvements, because every little bit contributes to who you are today. But don’t think that you are perpetually in that state. Always figure out ways to continue to grow and to step in a little more into who you are. In order to do that, you need to know where you are, where you came from.

Now you Barb, if you were to give the best advice to people, and how to craft their story, what would that be?

Man, you got to know your why. Why it is you’re wanting to do or be whatever it is you decide to do. We’re still learning, still growing up, no matter our age. I used to think that that was so frickin cliche. The minute you give purpose and meaning and do the work, you literally need to write down why it is you’re doing it and for who. What is the outcome that you’re expecting?

All of the sudden, it’s like, whoa, whoa. Your aha moment comes about and then you have the beginning of a roadmap, but you have got to really understand it. Don’t look for that passion project or that you feel like you have to have that calling. I don’t know if we all have a calling. There is something that maybe you’ve always wanted to do. Even if it’s a hobby. Do it, push play. You have to listen to that whisper that is in that gut, that keeps telling you, it’s time to do this no matter if it’s in work or owning a business or career or in life. The minute it starts to boil up and become a scream, that’s the time to move. Whether you have the dollars in the bank or not. Honestly, that is the time to move.

I’m right with you. Everybody talks about the why and I get a little crazy with this generic-ness. But your specific answer, the nuances that you pull out of yourself is not generic. When you start in that space everything thereafter erases the generic.

Yes! Very powerful feedback. If there’s anything else you need from us honey, just let us know.

All right, thank you BOTH so much.